This site is not maintained. Click here for the new website of Richard Dawkins.

Report: 32% Of Prayers Deflected Off Passing Satellites

Thanks to PaddyB for the link.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/report_32_of_prayers

Report: 32% Of Prayers Deflected Off Passing Satellites

HOUSTON—According to an official NASA report released Saturday, nearly 32 percent of all prayers exiting Earth are deflected off satellites orbiting the planet—ultimately preventing the discharged requests for divine intervention from ever making it to the Gates of Heaven. "After impact with the satellite, these diverted prayers typically plummet back into the atmosphere, where they either burn up or eventually land, unanswered, in a body of water," the report read in part. "Of the remaining prayers, research confirms 64 percent fail to make it past the stratosphere because they aren't prayed hard enough, 94 percent of those with enough momentum are swallowed by a supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy, and 43 percent are eaten by birds." The report concluded that, of the 170 billion prayers issued last month, one made it to God, whose reply was intercepted by a hurricane and incorrectly delivered to a Nigerian man who reportedly did not know what to do with his brand-new Bowflex machine.

TAGGED: HUMOR, RELIGION


RELATED CONTENT

Mr. Deity & The Marriage

Mr. Deity - YouTube - misterdeity Comments

Selection for the new Archbishop of...

Mazurke - - Comments

Selection for the new Archbishop of Canterbury

Modern Last Words

Russell - ThePrivateEye Comments

Mr. Deity and the Hitch

- - YouTube - Misterdeity Comments

Mr. Deity and the Hitch

Mr. Deity and the Rights

- - YouTube - MrDeity 19 Comments

Mr. Deity and the Rights

I Kind Of Got Kidnapped By Richard...

Kylie Sturgess - Token Skeptic -... 6 Comments

I Kind Of Got Kidnapped By Richard Dawkins And Ayaan Hirsi Ali At The Global Atheist Convention

MORE

Comments

Comment RSS Feed

Please sign in or register to comment