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Atheists in Jail - Comments

Macho Nachos's Avatar Comment 1 by Macho Nachos

Yeah. At heart, I'm as intolerant as the most fundamentalist Christian, but I can't be bothered going to all the effort of prying into other people's lives, tormenting them, working my way into a position of influence to push my agenda, duping money from the gullible, and molesting small children.

Perhaps instead of Brights we should be called Lazys. Too lazy to believe in God, too lazy to try to control the world, too lazy to do all the horrible things our complete lack of morals allows us to do.

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 23:38:00 UTC | #17756

Richard Morgan's Avatar Comment 2 by Richard Morgan

Scott Adams is missing the point. A recent study has shown that the number of carpet manufacturers married to, or in a stable relationship with a caribou is decreasing annually, particularly in the southern States such as Texas, Alabama and Northern Chipping Sodbury.
The resulting emotional stress on both lonely caribous and heart-broken carpet manufacturers tends to provoke digestive disorders in both groups. This increases their belching and farting activities, viz. methane production, methane being one of the gases responsible for the green-house effect that we hear so much about. A warm planet is one of the signs of the end of the world predicted by my Bible.
In my Bible I read about the lion laying down with the lamb, but there is no mention of caribous and carpet manufacturers doing anything at all together. This is a significant omission. Methane is a significant emission. Put the two together and what do you get? Revelation, of course.
Last night, as I was rolling a corpse into a carpet, with my wife, Kari-booboo standing by holding the shovel, everything became clear.
In fact, it is the non-existence of God that is responsible for an alarming increase in Atheism (cloven-footed beasts are notably agnostic)
My Bible predicts that also "The fool hath said with a fart, "There is no God" (N.I.V.)
(A fourth-century error in transcription, retained by many translations gives us "The fool hath said in his heart.." This cannot be true. A day spent at the local abattoir convinced me that hearts contain no organs of vocal production.)
So, Scottie boy, back to the drawing board with a little humility please. Atheists are only as lazy as the God they don't believe in. (cf. Peter Atkins' delightful: "The Creation - in five easy-to-bake steps.) (Ha! There are no coincidences - "peter" is a French verb meaning to fart.)
Where was I?
Ah, yes.
Talking about over-crowding in French jails....

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 23:45:00 UTC | #17757

timelord's Avatar Comment 3 by timelord

Yes, but the criminal that has just robbed your house is still twice as likely to be a theist? Bu wait.. don't these figures come from Mathias's anus? Garbage in = garbage out to quote a computing saying. (No reflection on what Mathias eats!)

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:50:00 UTC | #17760

Old Coppernose's Avatar Comment 4 by Old Coppernose

Perhaps instead of Brights we should be called Lazys. Too lazy to believe in God, too lazy to try to control the world, too lazy to do all the horrible things our complete lack of morals allows us to do.

Works for me. However, I prefer to talk of Rationalists rather than Atheists, as this includes Agnostics (of which I, like Darwin, am one). This could be abbreviated to Rats - we declare ourselves "I'm a Rat." or "I'm Ratty". This is amusing, and self-effacing, unlike Bright, and is only three letters, like Gay.

However at present any such term is quite superfluous in Europe,where Rats are probably the majority. So let the USAnians make their own minds up. In 50 years we're going to be publicly persecuted as 'Kuffaar Pigs' by majority Islamist fuckaars, and then we can start calling ourselves "Pigs" and "Piggy" to defy them as they destroy our freedom, our lives, and return Europe to the Dark Age.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:54:00 UTC | #17762

roach's Avatar Comment 5 by roach

The term "agnostic" doesn't really make much sense in the context of God/religious faith given that it deals with belief and not knowledge. It's true that no one, from a devout believer to a positive atheist, can technically be anything other than an agnostic.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 01:06:00 UTC | #17763

wice's Avatar Comment 6 by wice

i'm agnostic about agnosticism (as well as gnosticism). i don't know whether we can or cannot know if there is or is not one or more god/gods.

or maybe i'm just too lazy to find out.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 02:36:00 UTC | #17769

the great teapot's Avatar Comment 7 by the great teapot

What keeps me out of prison is not morality or laziness, but fear.
Fear of prisons and those in it.
I am a good prison fearing citizen.
Every evening when I go to bed I pray to The Prison and thank him for his Fear and his love.
Prison is Love.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 03:07:00 UTC | #17774

Luthien's Avatar Comment 8 by Luthien


Nah, I just ain't been caught yet ;-)

Perhaps most of us don't get caught (we are supposed to be cleverer)? Do the statistics on unsolved crime match the size of the unaccounted for atheist population? :-P

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 04:15:00 UTC | #17781

Deoradh's Avatar Comment 9 by Deoradh

God is just as lazy, he didn't even finish his creation and made a pretty botched job of it as well. We have nebula that he didn't turn into systems, planets that should have been suns but forgot to light. Some of the suns he did light blew up. There are asteroids smashing into planets ruining the décor. Galaxies colliding and too much stuff is disappearing down black holes. What a slipshod job
If he were a plumber would you employ him?

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 04:32:00 UTC | #17783

jeff_n's Avatar Comment 10 by jeff_n

God is just as lazy, he didn't even finish his creation and made a pretty botched job of it as well.

And when designing the male body he left the testicles on the outside! Surely any designer worth his salt could have found a bit of room near the kidneys? Sheer lackadaisicalness.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 04:54:00 UTC | #17790

Blue Monster 65's Avatar Comment 11 by Blue Monster 65

I think you're all missing the point here: instead of disposing of the bodies, you can find all sorts of uses for them: as a child, we not only ate our fill when Mom & Dad would come home from hunting, but we also made clothing from the skin, tools and furniture from the bones, toys from the testicals (clackers, anyone?) and much, much more. These days with all the pre-packaged, microwavable foods and McDonalds, I often miss Mom's homecooking. I can just smell the roasting missionary now ...

Woof! - Scott

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 05:46:00 UTC | #17792

Old Coppernose's Avatar Comment 12 by Old Coppernose

Comment #19797 by roach on January 30, 2007 at 1:06 am

The term "agnostic" doesn't really make much sense in the context of God/religious faith given that it deals with belief and not knowledge. It's true that no one, from a devout believer to a positive atheist, can technically be anything other than an agnostic

English is not a precise language, and probably most atheists and almost all devout blievers would deny being even technically agnostics. It's a question of emphasis. The athest wishes to emphasize the absence of belief, the agnostic the lack of knowledge.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 05:51:00 UTC | #17793

poppythinks's Avatar Comment 13 by poppythinks

the cat sets the pace here, and is the living being,essence of laziness.
too lazy to summon up a higher power, i follow
her ways, and hibernate all winter.
otherwise i do as little as possible, managing
a polite growl when i hear anything to do with
love the humour on this page - big purrs......
more, more, more...........

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 10:23:00 UTC | #17822

perkyjay's Avatar Comment 14 by perkyjay

Richard Morgan - comment no:19785: I couldn't decide whether your comment was a take-off of The Goon Show or the sketches from Monty Python , but I found it hilarious - thanks for making an old man laugh out loud.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 10:28:00 UTC | #17824

TheDarkestStar's Avatar Comment 15 by TheDarkestStar

"Excuse me while I take off my pants and yank that number out of my ass."

How on earth can an article like this be taken in the slightest bit seriously if the numbers are admittedly fabricated? How about just running with the data at hand and drawing preliminary conclusions from that rather than making up numbers to suit a point?

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 12:12:00 UTC | #17839

the great teapot's Avatar Comment 16 by the great teapot

"How can an article like this be taken seriously"

The same occured to me.
Why it is almost as though he is trying to display a sense of humour (humor)rather than make a wholly scientific argument.
I hope this is not the case.
That would be most illogical captain.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 12:26:00 UTC | #17840

Electric Monk's Avatar Comment 17 by Electric Monk

Maybe we should be Apathists instead of Atheists?

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 13:41:00 UTC | #17854

atheisticism's Avatar Comment 18 by atheisticism

Every christian I have ever known speaks of "struggles" with their faith. Translation: they are agnostic at best. It has always been my position that, deep down inside, we all realize the god story is nothing more than wishful thinking. This is why "believers" get so upset when anyone questions their faith. Most don't even want to talk about it, their self delusion rests on such a weak foundation.

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 17:33:00 UTC | #18119

Russell Blackford's Avatar Comment 19 by Russell Blackford

You'd almost think this guy made his living by drawing funny cartoons, or something. I mean, the bit about the caribou has got to be a joke. Right?
(Actually, I love Scott Adams and his quirky humour, but I gather he pisses off a lot of other people. See the current debate at Pharyngula.)

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:28:00 UTC | #18127

Alexander van Houten's Avatar Comment 20 by Alexander van Houten

I work in the Canadian north and I have promissed an old friend that I would fine work down South if the Caribou started to look good. That is a promiss I intend to keep. Besides out side of Muskeg there is no soil to burry the bodies in or roads to transport the bodies on.

Not to mention that the Caribou or Boos as they call them selves are having some rather extreme gang violence trouble and it is not a safe time for any carpet makers or sellers to get involved with a young caribou lass.

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:47:00 UTC | #18129

killer_rabbit79's Avatar Comment 21 by killer_rabbit79

I know the only reason I'm not relentlessly murdering anything in sight is because I live in Canada and therefore don't know where to buy a gun. They make it so damn hard. Also, I'm too lazy to work out so I am in no shape to strangle people with my bare hands. What's an atheist to do? I guess I'll have to be a good boy for now.

Seriously though, I saw a video on youtube that said 75% of Americans are Christian and 75% of American prisoners are Christian and 12% of Americans were atheist (that includes agnostics and humanists) and 0.2% of American prisoners are atheist. If that's true then we must be morally superior in general to Christians. Maybe because morally superior people tend to become atheists rather than morally inferior people who will tend to stay theists.

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 19:11:00 UTC | #18459

tmg's Avatar Comment 22 by tmg

Is it ignorance? Or is it apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.

Besides it's freezing here (London, the Canadian one)

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 16:20:00 UTC | #18598

migo's Avatar Comment 23 by migo

There's a problem with any statistics of atheists and theists in jail globally. In some countries it is illegal to be an atheist - that seriously skews the statistics.

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:50:00 UTC | #111411

dlitt's Avatar Comment 24 by dlitt

There is only one conclusion that I can draw from this rigorous scientific analysis: Atheists are lazy.

I'll certainly agree with that conclusion. I've been meaning to write a 'guide to laziness' - except I'm just too lazy.

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 23:36:00 UTC | #111421

octopus's Avatar Comment 25 by octopus

Then you have to drag the victim to a carpet and roll him up.

Not worth it mate. Carpets are rather expensive nowadays.

Interesting link:

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 05:23:00 UTC | #111472

al-rawandi's Avatar Comment 26 by al-rawandi

A lot of the violent criminals happen to be narcisistic psycopaths (sociopaths), perhaps they are atheists, but worship themselves as god like figures?

In that sense, we atheists can't claim them.

Think about all the prisoners in China, where atheism is the norm (norm enforced by the govt.) thus the govt. would identify their prisoners as religionless when in fact they may actually harbor religious sentiments.

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 06:27:00 UTC | #111492