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← Catholic church gives blessing to iPhone app

Catholic church gives blessing to iPhone app - Comments

JumpinJackFlash's Avatar Comment 1 by JumpinJackFlash

Superstitious practices. Oh yes, tick that one right there.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:28:48 UTC | #589457

RationalistOne's Avatar Comment 2 by RationalistOne

"Bless me father for I have iSinned"

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:31:33 UTC | #589463

MekoninBrisbane's Avatar Comment 3 by MekoninBrisbane

I suppose all Catholics would have to tick the box about superstitious practices! They are expecting this ridiculous charade to have some effect, after all. I bet they don't have a box to tick if they have raped any more children.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:33:16 UTC | #589465

fossil-fish's Avatar Comment 4 by fossil-fish

It's not even April 1st. That just has to be made up, they must really be kidding.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:34:09 UTC | #589466

HalfaMind's Avatar Comment 5 by HalfaMind

Oh, the possibilities are endless. Think of the graphics and the mashups.

See which circle of hell (courtesy of Dante) you are likely to end up in if you don't mend your ways.

Or get a handy shortlist of saints you ought to grovel to.

Or view to the metre how close you're getting to that oh-so-unpleasant lake-of-fire and watch the distance increase with every hail Mary...

Or even the Last Judgement-ometer. How will you fare? Answer the questions and have yourself inserted in the right place on Michelangelo's masterpiece...

How about a GPS application to steer you to the best relic for the job?

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:49:16 UTC | #589476

ajs261's Avatar Comment 6 by ajs261

If it weren't for the misogyny, homophobia, condom attitude, stem cell research opposition, meddling in the affairs of impoverished yet deluded people I'd almost feel sad the Catholic Church was losing influence. Stories like this make my day.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:53:46 UTC | #589481

genjokoan's Avatar Comment 7 by genjokoan

Bars, bookies, brothels, etc. could run the app for you ... customer service, eh?

The Church; desperately trying to be relevant in the 21st Century. FAIL

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:55:33 UTC | #589483

RomeStu's Avatar Comment 8 by RomeStu

You also have to type your "Hail Mary" online so they can check you're really doing your penance! And the computer can keep a record of all your sins and create a frequency analysis to see whether the confession is genuine, or just a way of getting a drink and a biscuit on a sunday morning...

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 19:09:04 UTC | #589493

Hendrix is my gOD's Avatar Comment 9 by Hendrix is my gOD

Does the apps list of potential sins include "Called the catholic church a bunch of pathetic idiots"?

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 19:11:52 UTC | #589497

xmaseveeve's Avatar Comment 10 by xmaseveeve

Dial 'M' for mumbo jumbo.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 19:14:50 UTC | #589501

Stafford Gordon's Avatar Comment 11 by Stafford Gordon

Dear oh dear.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 19:18:13 UTC | #589505

Matt B's Avatar Comment 12 by Matt B

The Confession program has gone on sale through iTunes for £1.19 ($1.99).

Don't need to read any further than this.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 19:32:51 UTC | #589521

Carl Sai Baba's Avatar Comment 13 by Carl Sai Baba

Can he hear me now?

I guess that explains why god apparently does not hear the prayers of starving African children. They haven't got iPhones.

You can also now understand the trouble involved with artificial limbs and capacitative touch screens.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:05:29 UTC | #589561

Marc Country's Avatar Comment 14 by Marc Country

Obviously, most Catholics lack the self-awareness to check the superstition/occult box, but, surely, sophisticated Catholics, like official Vatican exorcists, would have to concede that, on their own conscience, they are quite plainly, admittedly, "involved in the occult".

Definition- Occult: "matters regarded as involving the action or influence of supernatural or supernormal powers or some secret knowledge of them —used with the"

So, that definitely covers all clergy... SINNERS! The Pope, by this standard, is The King of Sin.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:08:59 UTC | #589564

lackofgravitas's Avatar Comment 15 by lackofgravitas

So basically, n need to go to church, just keep feeding the app, like a tamagochi soul or something.

I must agree, the possibilities are endless.

Q: During a conflict of historic proportions, would you 1.Help those in need escape the brutality of a totalitarian regime? 2.Remain neutral?
3.Pay lip-service to peace, join the totalitarians in their genocidal aspirations. Again?

Is anyone working on a Torquemada app?

I also assume each priest will be issued with the rcc approved iPed?

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:18:56 UTC | #589572

knivesron's Avatar Comment 16 by knivesron

it has fully got to be spyware. sending what ppl have done to the main church mainframe. oh o. lol

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:19:36 UTC | #589575

josephor's Avatar Comment 17 by josephor


Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:23:12 UTC | #589577

SheilaC's Avatar Comment 18 by SheilaC

Computer programmers have an expression: GIGO. Garbage in, garbage out.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:23:59 UTC | #589578

Ivan The Not So Bad's Avatar Comment 19 by Ivan The Not So Bad

World Wide Wafer.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:42:59 UTC | #589594

Logicel's Avatar Comment 20 by Logicel

"Instead, it encourages users to understand their actions and then visit their priest for absolution."

No, it does not provide any psychological/cognitive understanding of anything. All it is some stupid ritual--putting it on digital equipment does not make it anything else than a dumb ritual.

What priest? Hasn't the Church heard there is a dearth of priests? Be honest, you silly numb skulls, admit that is one of the reasons why you doing this, you are automating a rapidly vanishing occupation.

What I like about their doing this ridiculous thing is so more people can see what an archaic, useless, uninformed place from where they are crawling, slithering, and creeping.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:43:49 UTC | #589596

rod-the-farmer's Avatar Comment 21 by rod-the-farmer

I didn't see the one about wearing clothing of two different fabrics.....

At first I thought this was from The Onion. Talk about God of the Gaps, the room left for "You couldn't make this stuff up" is getting smaller every day.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:48:57 UTC | #589600

elderwanda's Avatar Comment 22 by elderwanda

Oh darn. At first I thought the title of this article was "Catholic Church Gives Blessing to iPope."

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:51:48 UTC | #589602

jez999's Avatar Comment 23 by jez999

Comment 2 by RationalistOne :

"Bless me father for I have iSinned"

I think 'Bless me father for iSinned' is catchier. ;-)

In fact, that should be their motto.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:56:34 UTC | #589605

Stevehill's Avatar Comment 24 by Stevehill

He warned them to keep in mind that digital communication was part of a bigger picture, however.

"It is important always to remember that virtual contact cannot and must not take the place of direct human contact with people at every level of our lives."

I guess that's prayer fucked then.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:13:26 UTC | #589621

Hendrix is my gOD's Avatar Comment 25 by Hendrix is my gOD

Comment 17 by josephor


Well put. To say anything else is to give them more of your time than these imbeciles deserve.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:23:13 UTC | #589628

Philoctetes                                        's Avatar Comment 26 by Philoctetes

I'm sure this does not mean that Benni will be publicising The big fella's Ex D number. No hot line to the big G for the sheep.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:42:34 UTC | #589649

Sajanas's Avatar Comment 27 by Sajanas

There is a better name for this app. The Sinner's Checklist.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:51:41 UTC | #589663

RW Millam's Avatar Comment 28 by RW Millam

All this time I though that only a priest can forgive sin. Now I learn Apple can do it? Didn't an apple CAUSE all this chaos about 6,000 years ago? Damn -- I'm so confused..............(grin)

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:52:51 UTC | #589664

Abdi 's Avatar Comment 29 by Abdi

What next? Blessing pedophilia via iphone?

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:55:10 UTC | #589669

Jums's Avatar Comment 30 by Jums

Lets hope God has a good internet connection.

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 22:22:59 UTC | #589704