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Creationist school appears out of nowhere

Scientists are said to be ‘baffled’ after a school teaching Creationism suddenly appeared overnight in a Hampshire field complete with a full retinue of teachers and pupils.

St Usshers Junior Mixed Infants is being heralded as the world’s first truly Creationist school, miraculously emerging out of the dust in what is believed to be the first recorded example of educational genesis.

‘I was as surprised as anyone to find myself here,’ said newly created headmaster, Dr William Jennings Bryan. ‘We haven’t seen anything quite like this since the beginning of the Earth in 4004 BC.’

Dr Bryan ran through the St Usshers curriculum. ‘Today the kids have Intelligent Design and Technology in which they have to devise and build their own ark. Then, this afternoon, it’s double pseudoscience followed by flat earth geography.’

The arrival of the school has been welcomed by Education Secretary Michael Gove. ‘St Usshers has set a magnificent example in appearing fully formed out of nowhere and at no cost to the taxpayer,’ he said. ‘This is just the kind of ‘free school’ I want to see more of. And what’s more, the teachers never threaten to go on strike.

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