This site is not maintained. Click here for the new website of Richard Dawkins.

Homeopathic leak threatens catastrophe

alt text

An accidental release of highly dilute homeopathic waste from a research institute in Swindon has led to calls for the centre to be shut down. Plant operators have admitted responsibility for massive safety blunders after a spilled drop of an enormously dilute test product was cleaned by a caretaker, and in complete disregard of all safety procedures, allowed to enter the water system after he emptied his mop bucket down the drain.

Institute staff have been cooperating with homeopathy regulatory safety officers and a team of engineers from Thames Water – working around the clock to minimise the risk of further dilution.

Still, the plant remains open – a spokesman claimed that their pioneering research into a cure for mild feelings of insecurity has reached a point that it must not be stopped. He then locked himself in his office and told reporters to leave him alone.

Local reaction has been mixed – many of course are living in fear – the latest advice has been for locals not to wash their vegetables before cooking. Some demand the plant be closed down. But others have taken a more pragmatic view, and accept that sometimes great advances in medical pseudoscience can come at a heavy price.

But everyone is in agreement that the emergency workers who came to the aid of the stricken plant yesterday are the true heroes. Some firefighers may have been exposed to dilutions as high as D8000 during the frantic race to prevent the atomic memory of the waste from reaching the Thames. Next to the Plant are seven abandoned Fire Engines – exposed to such dangerously low concentrations of homeopathic contamination that they can never be used again – they will eventually be entombed in concrete where they lie.

Local Fire Chief, Boutros-Boutros Jones gave a frank account of the current situation; ‘We have to accept that we’ve lost the battle locally, two water treatment works may never be safe to use again, but the fight to contain this and prevent further dilution is still on. Clearly if this reaches the sea, it’s game over.’

Original article and other Newsbiscuit stories

TAGGED: HUMOR


RELATED CONTENT

Mr. Deity & The Marriage

Mr. Deity - YouTube - misterdeity Comments

Selection for the new Archbishop of...

Mazurke - - Comments

Selection for the new Archbishop of Canterbury

Modern Last Words

Russell - ThePrivateEye Comments

Mr. Deity and the Hitch

- - YouTube - Misterdeity Comments

Mr. Deity and the Hitch

Mr. Deity and the Rights

- - YouTube - MrDeity 19 Comments

Mr. Deity and the Rights

I Kind Of Got Kidnapped By Richard...

Kylie Sturgess - Token Skeptic -... 6 Comments

I Kind Of Got Kidnapped By Richard Dawkins And Ayaan Hirsi Ali At The Global Atheist Convention

MORE

MORE BY -

Viewpoints: Why is faith falling in the...

- - BBC News Comments

A new poll suggests that atheism is on the rise in the US, while those who consider themselves religious has dropped. What's the cause? Two writers debate.

Missionaries of Hate

- - Top Documentary Films Comments

Documentary about ongoing events in Uganda, where many question whether the growing influence of American religious groups has led to a movement to make homosexuality a crime punishable by death.

Scientists Discover Previously Unknown...

- - URMC Comments

Newer Imaging Technique Brings ‘Glymphatic System’ to Light

Blasphemy Laws Exposed: The...

- - human rights first Comments

Blasphemy Laws Exposed: The Consequences of Criminalizing “Defamation of Religions”

Atheists On Religion, Science, And...

- - YouTube - townsquare Comments

Cara Santa Maria (Senior Science Correspondent, Huffingtonpost.com) leads this week's panel on 'The Point' to discuss these issues and more with Michael Shermer (Publisher - Skeptic Magazine), Sean Carroll (Theoretical Physicist - Caltech), and Edward Falzon (author of 'Being Gay Is Disgusting').

WALK DARWIN’S TREE OF LIFE ~ 25 - 26...

- - Ancestors Trail Walk Comments

WALK DARWIN’S TREE OF LIFE ~ 26 AUGUST 2012 - event begins on Saturday 25 August

MORE

Comments

Comment RSS Feed

Please sign in or register to comment