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← Pope 'exorcised two men in the Vatican', claims new book

Pope 'exorcised two men in the Vatican', claims new book - Comments

Dave Dynamite's Avatar Comment 1 by Dave Dynamite

The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:20:22 UTC | #915916

Rich Wiltshir's Avatar Comment 2 by Rich Wiltshir

I get it: they're laying the foundations for claims that, after the old arse dies, he cures possessed people and should be a saint.

These assholes are so transparent in their motives: 'god's the good guy, but I'm something special'

Tell Darth Ratzinger that the imams are possessed and see what happens..... FA.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:23:57 UTC | #915917

SuedeStonn's Avatar Comment 3 by SuedeStonn

lol, that's funny Dave... almost as funny as exorcisms.

I'd like to do a study. Any time a 'possessed' person is found they take him before someone in robes who professes to be a priest, a stand in that knows all the lines, and see if they get 'exorcised'. Have people watching in case the person is seriously ill and shows signs of doing bodily harm to oneself, but I'd like to see if the 'devil' can sniff out a fake priest. o.O

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:30:40 UTC | #915920

SuedeStonn's Avatar Comment 4 by SuedeStonn

'Popemobile'... gotta be kidding me. :P

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:31:20 UTC | #915921

chawinwords's Avatar Comment 5 by chawinwords

Gee, distant demon removal, and the Pope didn't even need to touch them with his magic staff. Just think, insanity on the cheap.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:36:07 UTC | #915922

Sample's Avatar Comment 6 by Sample

I don't know where to begin.

Mike

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:40:23 UTC | #915924

DLJ's Avatar Comment 7 by DLJ

Who else is thinking Gandalf / Theoden / Saruman?

Well, I think it is all perfectly plausible except … “they were lying on the floor” presumably with the seating area behind them so how could they have been “thrown three metres backwards”? How do they expect us to believe that?!

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:42:11 UTC | #915925

passutoba's Avatar Comment 8 by passutoba

"I am not Giovanni" in a voice that was not his own,

He must have been doing Brando from the Godfather......

If I try to imagine this actually happening, it always comes out like a scratchy B-movie in my head....I wonder why??

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:55:42 UTC | #915931

lol mahmood's Avatar Comment 9 by lol mahmood

For a musical analysis of the papacy (other than Tim Minchin) check out the Blood's classic 80s track 'Megalomaniac': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOMAdt00LjA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:58:55 UTC | #915933

DefenderOfReason!'s Avatar Comment 10 by DefenderOfReason!

Comment 7 by DLJ :

...How do they expect us to believe that?!

It's called faith....

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:02:39 UTC | #915934

prettygoodformonkeys's Avatar Comment 11 by prettygoodformonkeys

Bullshit.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:10:55 UTC | #915935

rrh1306's Avatar Comment 12 by rrh1306

The RCC can nominate him for saint hood now.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:14:36 UTC | #915937

DLJ's Avatar Comment 13 by DLJ

Comment 10 by DefenderOfReason! :

Comment 7 by DLJ :

...How do they expect us to believe that?!

It's called faith....

That's just absurd. Look, exorcism, I can handle (I saw it in a movie so it must be true) but defying Newton's first law of motion... That's blasphemy!

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:15:13 UTC | #915938

GPWC's Avatar Comment 14 by GPWC

Comment 2 by Rich Wiltshir :

I get it: they're laying the foundations for claims that, after the old arse dies, he cures possessed people and should be a saint.

Exactly my thought.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:16:54 UTC | #915939

passutoba's Avatar Comment 15 by passutoba

"They banged their heads on the ground. The Swiss Guards watched them but did nothing,"

No surprise there, it's what the Swiss Guards are best at.......

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:32:11 UTC | #915943

tll's Avatar Comment 16 by tll

I had the exact same symptoms "in a church" about an hour before our wedding vows...

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:32:17 UTC | #915944

Tryphon Tournesol's Avatar Comment 17 by Tryphon Tournesol

What to do when your stupid, ignorant pedophile club is crumbling in the real world? Just exaggerate/reinvent some already outrageous claims of miracles as spit shine to impress the last of the gullible (potential) victims err believers. Recipe for a prolonged death struggle.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:35:01 UTC | #915945

Wake_Up's Avatar Comment 18 by Wake_Up

How could you not believe it?

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:36:49 UTC | #915946

Sean_W's Avatar Comment 19 by Sean_W

Mental illness can be devastating. Has the Catholic Church officially denounced exorcisms for the sake of those who may be suffering from mental health problems? Shouldn't they be reeducating all of their workers world wide to recognize symptoms and what to do about it?

Would that be too much like admitting they aren't more useful because of a claim to a connection with a higher power?

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:45:05 UTC | #915947

Tyler Durden's Avatar Comment 20 by Tyler Durden

When one of the assistants asked Giovanni to control himself, he said "I am not Giovanni" in a voice that was not his own. As soon as the Pope stepped down from the "Popemobile' the two men flung themselves to the floor.

"They banged their heads on the ground. The Swiss Guards watched them but did nothing," the priest wrote.

"Giovanni and Marco started to wail at the same time, they were lying on the floor, howling. They were trembling, slobbering, working themselves into a frenzy."

But of course this a case of demon possession being cured by exorcism. It's not like modern science can explain the symptoms listed above.

Temporal lobe epilepsy does not explain it.

Mass psychogenic illness does not explain it.

Obsessive compulsive disorder does not explain it.

Psychotropic drug use does not explain it.

Histrionic-Schizotypal Personality Disorder does not explain it.

So, it must be a valid exorcism. Typical closed-minded atheists, sheesh.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:49:11 UTC | #915948

Quine's Avatar Comment 21 by Quine

Show me an exorcism of an amputee where his legs grew back.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:51:10 UTC | #915950

Mungo9000's Avatar Comment 22 by Mungo9000

Pics or it didn't happen!

Actually, I bet Popey is photographed constantly whilst out and about in St. Peter's Square so this miracle should be recorded somewhere.

No wait... don't tell me the power of Christ fogged the film? But it's video. Ah, but the holy spirit fogged the lens of the camera! Oh you heathen, when will you learn not to ask such stupid questions and demand evidence. Is the miracle of the exorcisms not enough?

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:57:28 UTC | #915956

Border Collie's Avatar Comment 23 by Border Collie

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahah!!!

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:58:18 UTC | #915957

potteryshard's Avatar Comment 24 by potteryshard

From the picture, the pope looks like he needs considerably more exorcise.

At one point I was looking at buying an old chruch to remodel. I'm still wondering at this late date if anyone has ideas on how to drive the demons back in to the structure?

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:59:18 UTC | #915959

A. R's Avatar Comment 25 by A. R

I knew he was a Sith Lord!

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:01:01 UTC | #915961

richard jr miles's Avatar Comment 26 by richard jr miles

Com. 2 & 14 Mine to.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:15:19 UTC | #915966

blitz442's Avatar Comment 27 by blitz442

Comment 20 by Tyler Durden

Satan is very clever these days and disguises his possessions by mimicking mental disorders that have perfectly natural causes. That way, he is able to distract his victims with fruitless attempts to use science and avoid the only force on Earth that remove him, the RCC.

If Satan were to do something silly like make his victims have symptoms that defy all known explanation, then he immediately would announce his presence and attract the attention of the powerful Catholic wizards. This might also increase the number of devout Catholics and reverse the trend towards atheism that Satan initiated with things like the Enlightenment and the theory of evolution.

In this way, Satan and his minions have been enjoying annual increases in the possession of human souls, and are experimenting with even more innovative ways to possess humans without detection.

Eventually, their possessions will be disguised as things like general grumpiness, having a case of the Mondays, or being a fan of professional wrestling.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:19:16 UTC | #915969

gordon's Avatar Comment 28 by gordon

Why's he wearing half a bra on his head?

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:23:24 UTC | #915970

Steve Zara's Avatar Comment 29 by Steve Zara

Comment 12 by rrh1306

The RCC can nominate him for saint hood now.

Does it work like that? Accidental miracles?

Something about the report of this being an accidental exorcism really made me laugh.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:25:06 UTC | #915971

ShadowMind's Avatar Comment 30 by ShadowMind

I love the concept of the Popemobile:
"Believe in god, but trust in bullet-proof polycarbonate windows"
As for exorcisms, is this the "Devil of the Gaps"? - I don't understand my illness (because I haven't bothered to go to an actual doctor) so it must be demonic possession!

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:43:40 UTC | #915976