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Wow, the form letter that raptureletters.com sends out, actually has the lines you need to say to get saved:
"Father I admit I am a
sinner, and I will turn from my sin and do good. I believe that Jesus was
your son and that He came here to die for me so that my sins would be
forgiven. I ask you to forgive me and I will repent of my sins. In Jesus
name I pray."
Translated:
Dad, I'm a total loser. But I don't want to be a looser anymore. I promise I'll be good. Really. I think you impregnated a 14 year old 2000 years ago, so watching the kid die could put you in a good enough mood to forgive the losers you created. I'm sorry I was such a dick from the moment I was conceived. And I'll name-drop Jesus at the end just for good measure.
Permalink Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:24:00 UTC | #185248