Anyone can observe an upside from a terrible situation. It may have helped us to survive to be able to do this. Yes, everything happens for a reason, but not a planned reason, not a good reason - the reason we give and get from it. Many people who say terrible things happen for a reason, stink of a self-centered, almost cowardly selfishness, serving to insulate them from any effort to truly understand, and perhaps then be in a position to do something other than wait for the inevitable "meaning" to reveal itself. Connecting the dots between the tragic and the good doesn't take much imagination. We should try to prevent the tragic, rather than resign ourselves to waiting to see the good in it - and in practice that is exactly what we try to do.