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Aussie's Avatar Jump to comment 12 by Aussie

What Richard needs to do to lift his game:

Develop an ear-to-ear toothpaste-ad smile.

Pace backwards and forwards across the stage during presentations raising the palms skyward at frequent intervals.

Periodically thump a dog-eared copy of Origin of Species constantly carried in his left hand.

Appeal for interactive responses from the audience. "How come we are all gathered here today!!" The answer "Natural Selection!!" "Come on everybody. Shout it out together!" "NATURAL SELECTION!!!"

Regularly threaten the audience with the certainty of intellectual necrosis, thermonuclear anialation, with eternal separation from the only life they will ever enjoy.

Accompany his presentations with trendy rock music

Walk amongst the flock, pushing them over one by one, decreeing that they are now cured from their delusions and its associated psychological damage.

Set up a series of "Inquisition Houses" to scare the living daylights out of small children, dramatising in horrific detail the suffering (burning at the stake, boiling in oil etc) that will be endured if we return to any form of Dark Age.

Institute a system of tithing to swell the RDF coffers and supplement this with occasional exhortations to "Give until it hurts".

Write his next book on the subject of dieting - "Slimming with Darwin"

Come on Richard you can do it!

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:09:00 UTC | #8090