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← Crazy theist mother

Raiko's Avatar Jump to comment 11 by Raiko

Well, the least it should do is give you a drive to grow independent of her soon. Until then, try to find agreements with her - you don't mention Richard Dawkins around her, and she won't try to drag you to church. Make it an offer, not blackmail - because while she might think you are a rebellious teenager, it might completely escape her that she is acting crazy on her part, thus really making things difficult for you.

If you make your suggestions in a calm and quiet manner, the least you can do when she yells at you (and you try to stay calm and quiet) is tell her that at least you tried to offer a compromise here and you feel sad she can't meet you halfway. Remember, no matter how much she yells, it's not like she can make you believe in something that you actually really don't, anyway.

In other words - try to find a way to keep peace inside the house and still feel like you're not betraying yourself or pretending to be something you're not. It's probably not easy to find that way, but it will make everyone happier, especially you and your mother.

If she is yelling and sending you up to your room, she is not the adult in the situation, so maybe you should attempt to be the calm and reasonable one who can shrug it off and say "okay, we don't agree here - I can live with that". The big advantage you have over her is probably, that you are under much less pressure than she is - she might think something horrible will happen to you because you don't believe the right thing (be it for social reasons or for afterlife reasons), and she loves you, after all, and does not want that to happen. All you have pressuring you on your back is the sad knowledge that she is under an illusion that takes over way too much of her daily life and has broader, not necessarily positive impact on the world than she might realize. That's saddening, but certainly not as terrifying as what she might go through.

Keep her perspective in mind and - well, inform yourself on how to deal with conflicts in general. I always found that very helpful.

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 12:21:41 UTC | #898568