For years I have wondered about some supposedly supernatural things and how they could possibly happen, such as 'life after death' in whatever form that could possibly take, and precognition. But supposing they do happen - and they would have to happen now as much as they were ever supposed to do - there would have to be a rational explanation. I didn't ever consider seriously any of the outright wacko religious stuff however, even under the heavy tutelage I received at one school I attended age 9-11. That had the same degree of reality as the CS Lewis fantasy of Narnia I was reading at the same time, only Narnia was far more interesting. I really longed for Narnia to be true, but never the religious side. I had had some religion lite at sunday school before that, but this heavy religion was just too ludicrous, indigestible and now strikes me as something like circus performance, ostentatious both in execution of the miracles and in the act of faith in believing such things actually happened. At that age too, belief in life after death is so unnecessary, as life seems to stretch on ahead, in effect, forever.

That said, if my attendance had started years earlier, I don't know what the outcome would have been. It was nothing more than mechanical praying at the time to avoid repercussions (although I didn't consciously think of it like that, I thought I was doing it right, but it was all superficial). I can't imagine living with the doublethink - something would have to give surely.