Comment 27 by MissLauraC

my existential fears have me oscillating wildly between conviction that there is no God and clutching desperately at faith

I can really identify with this statement. There was a period of over a year in which I could not and did not believe in God, but still prayed for faith. In fact, that was the only prayer that crossed my lips. Whether it was during grace or in the pews, while others mumbled on, I would bow my head and ask for faith.

I think, slowly but surely, one adjusts. Remember, the mind is rooted in the physical world of the brain and the pre-established pathways and connections of neurons. It takes time to build an alternative way of thinking that does not have one falling back into old ways and longing for old habits.

My best advice is just to accept the days and feelings (and accompanying faith) as it comes, and realize that over time it fades away.