A bit OT: Every time I read a book about popularized physics(I have started "Emperor's New Mind" this week), I feel a burning sensation that I would like to actually understand and evaluate the mathematical concepts behind the theories described, rather than just read what the writer tells me and take it as fact. I had been accepted to the Physics University of my country, but I opted for Computer Science instead and so my math aren't really that advanced(from what I remember, some calculus, linear algebra, discreet math and statistics). However, in highschool I was literally in love with physics, and sometimes I really regret than I won't ever be able to actually comprehend those things.

Anyone else feels this way? I've thought for a time of educating myself on this, watching video lectures, buying textbooks and run over the material on my own, but i find it hard to establish a self-discipline here that would allow me to really progress in this matter. The material out there is chaotic anyway, if there's a place that has compiled a decent "program for self-learners" that allows you to properly go through modern physics assuming initial highschool knowledge, I haven't been able to find it.