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← Advice for an Angry Gay Atheist

brighterstill's Avatar Jump to comment 1 by brighterstill

Well, I'm afraid I can't say much, except that when I finally discovered I was an atheist rather than just a very, very, very liberal christian, I was also very angry - at everyone who was so comfortable with the terrible institution and the unbrelievably awful thigs it had to say. I was worried for a long time that I was turning into a bigot who wouldn't be able to be in the same room as an overtly religious person without engaging in a heated argument - this was a problem for me as some of my close family and friends are clergy. I was wise enough to put some distance around myself until the anger abated (it took several months) but eventually it didn't bother me so much anymore. I still sneak in some seeds of doubt when speaking with religious people (my secret plan of letting the inconsistencies of their dogma do the work), but I'm not angry anymore.

It's incredibly helpful to have someone close to talk to who agrees with your point of view, otherwise it can start to feel like the whole world is against you, which will just make you angrier and depressed. It sounds like F is coming from the right place, so I say just give it some time. When reason goes up against superstition, as F is going up against P, reason has the great advantage of being true. It may turn out that P is going through a hyper-religious phase which, for me, directly preceeded abandonning all the nonsense. I was the most popular, outspoken and charismatic member of my church, ready to use all my wits to defend the nonsense - and then one day I was free.

Now when people say "bless you", I consider their motive, not their words. I don't think they consider their words either - faithspeak is three quarters uncontrolled reaction, like a sneeze.

In conclusion, I hope you make it through the dark time without doing anything you'll regret, and that you and F are happily married. Come to Canada, we'd love to marry you!

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:16:10 UTC | #929944