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← Religious Olympics

aquilacane's Avatar Jump to comment 28 by aquilacane

In the spirit of haste, the religious customs and order in which they appear on this list have been completely ripped off.

The Religious Olympics Decathlon:

  1. Wearing of the Temple Garments—Who can put their magic undies on the quickest?
  2. E-Meter Auditor Session—Conduct a successful E-Meter audit
  3. Exorcise—Heads will roll but we're still waiting for the perfect 360
  4. Kaparot Swing Off—swing that chicken round and round, cut off its head and feed it to a poor guy
  5. Shaman 100 (Upper or Lower world)—first to contact the spirit world
  6. Dowry Giveaway—How much comes with your little girl in the window?
  7. Baptism of the Dead—Find a Jewish grave and mumble some words. Hand gestures earn style points
  8. Jainist Digambaras—How long can you pretend you are wearing clothes, when you are not
  9. Niqab shuffle—How long can you run until you collapse from overheating
  10. Refuse a Blood Transfusions—Slice open a major artery then refuse the life saving transfusion

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 02:20:01 UTC | #949956