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← Guidance in turning my children to reason

BanJoIvie's Avatar Jump to comment 8 by BanJoIvie

I am also a former Mormon. I left voluntarily as an adult after having completed a mission.

I only have a couple of thoughts regarding your plans.

You're plan seems perfectly reasonable. I would only suggest that you avoid presenting this plan to your wife a a set of demands, or as an all-or-nothing package. Remember that you have taken the time to formulate your thoughts on the matter, and even to ask advice before discussing it with your wife. But this may all take her by surprise. I suspect that the less you can make her feel "confronted" the smoother it may go. You may also try to think of your proposal as a starting point for a discussion rather than an end goal. Be fully prepared to hear your wife's objections and her wishes in the matter, and to seek compromise.

I don't know how possible it would be, but what if you invited your wife to accompany you and the kids on your every-other-week explorations? You might even offer to attend sacrament meeting with them on "her weeks" in return. I realize your excommuniction may make this very uncomfortable, and I wouldn't envy you the time in those pews. This approach might allow the family to address differing views together rather than setting up a you-versus-your-wife division of time. There would certainly be drawbacks to this approach, but there may be advantages. Worth considering.

The only other thought I have is that you may want to allow the kids a chance to at least express their thoughts and feelings while making decisions that impact their lives. They will very likely have their own views and preferences about Sunday time, and even about baptisms/ordinations/etc. You may not decide to give them their way in every one of these choices, but I think it will be important to consult them and let them know they are heard.

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 23:59:51 UTC | #950470