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Salvation wear for the atheist

Have you ever heard of the Armour Of Salvation? It consists of the following and is essential attire for the believer:

  1. The Belt Of Truth
  2. The Breastplate Of Righteousness
  3. The Shield Of Faith
  4. The Helmet Of Salvation
  5. The Sword Of The Spirit
  6. The Gospel Of Peace.

Now this to me is pretty cool gear, bus as an Atheist I'm not really suited for these clothes. However, I love role play and I don't really want to be left out so I've come up with a wardrobe for skeptics. Do let me know what you think.

  1. The Pantyhose Of Patience
    These should be worn whenever one has to listen to somebody spout nonsense for extended periods. Or if you're like me just because you like the feel of them.

  2. The Girdle Of Godlessness
    Required to ensure that one is fully protected against all efforts to indoctrinate with talk about invisible entities that aren't made of anything and that live outside time and space.

  3. The Suspenders Of Sarcasm
    A skeptic must always be able to respond with an appropriately mischievous one liner or tirade when the need presents.

  4. The Pop Socks Of Perversion
    We godless sinners aren't bound by any religious dogma, and these garments should remind us always that if you're not doing something sexually inappropriate at least once a day you're neglecting your duties as a lover of sin and Satan.

  5. The High Heels Of Honesty
    These will raise our stature and remind us that honesty trumps delusion every day of the week. Careful when you're out walking though.

  6. The Brazier Of Benevolence
    To be worn to remind us that we should act kindly for the sake of pure kindness alone, and not because we've been told by some holy book or pastor.

Ok, I know what you're thinking. I'm just using this as an excuse to dress up in girly under crackers again? Well perhaps, but if these garments serve to remind us that we have our own sets of principles then show me the changing room, honey. Besides, any garments will do. I'm sure you can muster up all manner of outfits as the mood takes.

TAGGED: ATHEISM, HUMOR


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