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Salvation wear for the atheist - Comments

Darwinorlose's Avatar Comment 1 by Darwinorlose

Let's not forget the Jockstrap of Jocularity! - The ability to see the joke in ourselves as we see the joke in our opponents positions keeps us humbly joyful and yet uplifted!

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:13:43 UTC | #859680

magster2's Avatar Comment 2 by magster2

Hmmm. That brazier sounds rather heavy and uncomfortable, not to mention hot. How about a brassiere instead?

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:16:36 UTC | #859681

magster2's Avatar Comment 3 by magster2

Oh, and in terms of whether that jockstrap keeps one humbly joyful? Speak for yourself there, Darwinorlose.

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:22:34 UTC | #859684

gordon's Avatar Comment 4 by gordon

How about the condom of liberation or the diaper of Damocles

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:38:42 UTC | #859691

magster2's Avatar Comment 5 by magster2

Does that diaper of Damocles contain the sword of Damocles?

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:41:30 UTC | #859692

Alan4discussion's Avatar Comment 6 by Alan4discussion

Comment 2 by magster2

Hmmm. That brazier sounds rather heavy and uncomfortable, not to mention hot. How about a brassiere instead?

Somebody had to bring Hell-fire into it!

Anyway where's Schrodinger's Cat with his wellies for wading through Bullshit!

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 14:25:59 UTC | #859705

Sample's Avatar Comment 7 by Sample

Clogs of Cognition: because paths to understanding are often strewn with shit.

Mike

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 14:35:01 UTC | #859710

SaganTheCat's Avatar Comment 8 by SaganTheCat

once agian a goddless atheist makes a mockery of the faithfull and their noble dressing up box

such intollerance

anyway priests have been wearing women's clothes for centuries, they even get a bronze handbag to swing about (i thought it was a bit flash especially the way my priest waved it in right in front of my face; yeah alright love you got a shiny handbag - joke was on him, one of the alter boys had set it alight)

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 15:06:18 UTC | #859723

skiles1's Avatar Comment 9 by skiles1

I don't think I can walk in heels.

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 15:57:53 UTC | #859747

robaylesbury's Avatar Comment 10 by robaylesbury

A female could have The Vajazzle Of Victory? To remind them how secularism continues to march gloriously onward. Perhaps a jeweled "A" logo for Atheist.

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 16:58:49 UTC | #859765

gordon's Avatar Comment 11 by gordon

Skidmarks of scepticism!

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 17:24:42 UTC | #859778

Neodarwinian's Avatar Comment 12 by Neodarwinian

You forgot the sardonic suit.

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 18:46:34 UTC | #859813

gordon's Avatar Comment 13 by gordon

Underpants of understanding. Can you see where I'm going here? Getting tired. All that looting last night. TV's anyone?

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:30:40 UTC | #859826

Alan4discussion's Avatar Comment 14 by Alan4discussion

The Gospel Of Peace.

Any ideas which one that might be?

The Belt Of Truth
The Breastplate Of Righteousness
The Shield Of Faith
The Helmet Of Salvation
The Sword Of The Spirit

Given all the weaponry and armour listed first!

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 20:15:54 UTC | #859839

ThePoeticAtheist's Avatar Comment 15 by ThePoeticAtheist

Okay! I like most of the list for atheist attire, but number 4? Seriously? Love of sin and satan? Being atheist should mean that you not only deny the existence of a God but also Satan because God is said to have created Satan...theology aside, being an atheist doesn't mean you have to be a sexual perv. Love is a natural aspect of being human, let's enjoy that! Something tells me that branding atheists with perversity isn't helping our case!

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:01:15 UTC | #859852

Alan4discussion's Avatar Comment 16 by Alan4discussion

I was wondering where I'd seen a list like this before? HELL'S ANGELS?

The Belt Of True Membership
The Breastplate Of Protection
The Leg-Shields Of Faith
The Helmet Of Salvation
The Bottle Of The Spirit
The Boots Of the bovver
The Bike Of the style

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:33:04 UTC | #859861

ZenDruid's Avatar Comment 17 by ZenDruid

I'll settle for the Towel of Universal Practicality.

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:52:34 UTC | #859865

skiles1's Avatar Comment 18 by skiles1

Comment 17 by ZenDruid :

I'll settle for the Towel of Universal Practicality.

A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 23:11:18 UTC | #859881

JuJu's Avatar Comment 19 by JuJu

Sounds like stuff you might find in Lady Gaga's closet.

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 04:32:36 UTC | #859954

mirandaceleste's Avatar Comment 20 by mirandaceleste

Comment 15 by ThePoeticAtheist :

Okay! I like most of the list for atheist attire, but number 4? Seriously? Love of sin and satan? Being atheist should mean that you not only deny the existence of a God but also Satan because God is said to have created Satan...theology aside, being an atheist doesn't mean you have to be a sexual perv. Love is a natural aspect of being human, let's enjoy that! Something tells me that branding atheists with perversity isn't helping our case!

It's satire.

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 05:54:46 UTC | #859963

RDfan's Avatar Comment 21 by RDfan

1 The Chastity Belt of Reason (This should block most mind-rapists and the spread of memefections such as the Human Intellectuo-deficiencyVirus or G.O.Ds)

2 The Mini Skirt of Suspended Judgment (It’s human to be embarrassed because you do not know something. But unlike the religious, atheists aren’t hasty to hide their embarrassment under the Three Piece Suit of Certain Knowledge. We’re quite happy with the rather modest cover otherwise called the Mini Skirt of Suspended Judgment; this slender number suffices until more material, i.e. evidence, is available.)

3 The Boob Tube of Falsifiability (“What if you’re wrong?” asks the religious with a knowing smile. “So what if I’m wrong”, replies the atheist incredulously. “We can all be wrong,” the atheist continues, “…but the difference between you and me is that I’m capable of being wrong, I’m wearing the BoobTube of Falsifiability, after all. And you, you with your Three Piece Suit of Certain Knowledge, what if you’re wrong? But, wait, you’re not even capable of being wrong, are you?”)

4 The Wellies of Skepticism (As you wade through life, you will undoubtedly come across a lot of shitty belief systems; these bad boys should keep your feet clean and dry of all that muck.)

5 The Parachute of Reality (There are times when even atheists need to take a leap, not a leap of faith, just a leap, say, off of a bridge, a mountain or a plane. In such a case, make sure you have a visible, i.e. real, means of support; reality demands of it!)

6 The Umbrella of Humor (Hey, the sun shines on a god’s arse sometimes (even in cloudy England); for all other days, the Umbrella of Humor will get you through Darwinian Life’s 1000 little jokes (e.g. ageing, Sarah Palin, and death).)

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 06:00:23 UTC | #859964

skiles1's Avatar Comment 22 by skiles1

The Assless Chaps of No Free Will

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 06:33:42 UTC | #859968

Steve Zara's Avatar Comment 23 by Steve Zara

Comment 15 by ThePoeticAtheist

Being atheist should mean that you not only deny the existence of a God but also Satan because God is said to have created Satan..

God is said to have created life, but we don't deny life. God is said to have created the Earth, but we don't deny the Earth. God is said to have created the Heavens, but we turn our telescopes to the skies and see planets and stars. Satan is no God, so why deny him?

Look around you at the world full of suffering. That is surely no sign of a benevolent being, but instead points to Pandemonium, the place of the Prince of Evil. It is said that the world can run without a runner, but that does not mean no runner, but a runner who is too lazy to run, so again we see Satan.

An atheist who must gamble on life after this life cannot chance denying the Devil. There is no place for those who reject God in His Heaven, but the true God is a lottery, 1 in thousands of faiths.

How different our chances with the Ultimate Chancer, far fewer the options. Find it hard to believe? That's just not a problem. Fake belief, pretend, make it up till the end. Who cares if you're right, not the Prince of what's wrong, not the Father of Lies.

When it's all over, we're dead or we're doomed. But not so doomed if we bribe the Fallen with our faith.

So let's hear it for the Beautiful One, the Outcast of Heaven, just doing his job, all part of the Plan.

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 07:21:49 UTC | #859973

Ignorant Amos's Avatar Comment 24 by Ignorant Amos

The Mitre of Mischief......worn when winding up the religious.

The Cassock of Critical Thinking.....not to be confused with that of the religious persuasion.

The Robe of Rationality....to be donned when the religious flak starts coming at one.

The Singlet of Scientific Enquiry......worn by those on the quest for knowledge.

The Vest of Veracity....no rational thinker should enter the arena of debate without one.

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 10:12:33 UTC | #860018

robaylesbury's Avatar Comment 25 by robaylesbury

Some thoughts on the Pop Socks Of Perversion;

I actually have a bit of an issue when alternative sexual choices are described as perverted or kinky. Who makes that choice? I'm of the view that consenting adults should have freedom to express their amazing sexuality as they see fit. Clearly the key word is consent, or consensual non consent in certain relationships where both partners have absolute trust in each other.

I've come a long way. When I was a Christian I allowed myself one hand job per week, and then I tried not to enjoy it! That's how far down the rabbit hole I'd gone.

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 10:20:10 UTC | #860021

Robert Howard's Avatar Comment 26 by Robert Howard

Comment 8 by Daniel Clear :

anyway priests have been wearing women's clothes for centuries, they even get a bronze handbag to swing about (i thought it was a bit flash especially the way my priest waved it in right in front of my face; yeah alright love you got a shiny handbag - joke was on him, one of the alter boys had set it alight)

Count yourself lucky it was only his handbag that he waved in front of your face; think what the altar boys have to put up with.

Comment 19 by JuJu :

Sounds like stuff you might find in Lady Gaga's closet.

I just Googled it and apparently Ms Formichetti's entire ensemble at the MTV awards was made out of steak. Had it consisted of pork it would no doubt have made an excellent addition to the wardrobe of the modern atheist and would have been an effective deterrent against Muslims and the Jewish faithful.

Not Christians though as they can eat pork to their hearts' content, not being required to pay any attention to Leviticus.

Erm, apart from the bit that tells them they mustn't be gay.

How does that work again?

Anybody?

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 11:37:35 UTC | #860035

Mr DArcy's Avatar Comment 27 by Mr DArcy

The High Visibilty Cloak.

The Ring of Truth.

The Kilt of Kindness.

The Crash Helmet of Frustration.

The Glove of Friendship.

The Shades of Farsightedness.

The Beret of Beauty.

(Any bids for a secondhand pair of sandals that Jesus wore? Honest, they're not fakes!)

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 13:11:21 UTC | #860055

Alan4discussion's Avatar Comment 28 by Alan4discussion

Comment 26 by Robert Howard

Had it consisted of pork it would no doubt have made an excellent addition to the wardrobe of the modern atheist and would have been an effective deterrent against Muslims and the Jewish faithful.

Brilliant! Where did I put that pigskin wallet and pair of pigskin gloves?

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 14:03:29 UTC | #860068

JuJu's Avatar Comment 29 by JuJu

Universally Sacred Underwear--- Oh wait, the Mormons already laid claim to that one, dang it!

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 16:39:27 UTC | #860114

aquilacane's Avatar Comment 30 by aquilacane

Don't forget the Jockstrap of Affection

or the Spectacles of Disregard

Edit: Crap, I should have read the first post. Damn attention span.

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 18:05:02 UTC | #860134