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Grimace's Avatar Joined over 3 years ago
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Go to: Secular wedding ceremonies - Canada

Grimace's Avatar Jump to comment 6 by Grimace

I got married about 4 months ago and had a completely secular wedding.

I’m an Australian, and here secular weddings are in the majority. Barring three sentences at three different points in the ceremony (which deal with legalities), you are free to do what you wish with regard to the ceremony.

I had assumed from your post that the law was much less liberal in Canada, but having read a couple of the posts once commenting was opened, I’m not so sure.

Our celebrant provided us with a huge range of suggestions as to ceremony content and readings, and we also found a lot of good suggestions on the internet. If you email me, I’d be happy to forward the stuff we still have to you (

Having a secular wedding was just one of many problems we had with my family and my mother did not let the subject go, even brining religion up with me during our leaving circle at the end of our wedding reception.

I do not regret for one moment having the wedding that I really wanted, rather than the wedding someone else really wanted. For the record, we decided that we were going to have our wedding our way, and planned our wedding on the basis we would be paying for it ourselves (both our families did contribute). we got exactly the wedding we wanted and I cannot imagine a way in which the day could have been any more wonderful. It was the best day of my life.

That said, having the wedding we really wanted was a VERY tough path to go down, and I’d advise anyone to consider their position carefully before doing it. It put a strain on our relationship, further strained relations with my family, made a difficult and stressful time in our lives even harder and put a dampener on the lead up to the wedding.

It also depends on the contribution that your parents/families are making. Mine made only a minor contribution so I had no moral or ethical issues with not taking into account their views. On the other hand, the more money you accept from your parents/families, the more legitimacy they have in their demands for involvement & having their say taken into account.

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 06:18:12 UTC | #949385

Go to: Teaching Primary Aged Children

Grimace's Avatar Jump to comment 8 by Grimace

@ Mark Ribblands,

No sure what goes on now, when I was in primary school (1988 - 1994) RE in Government schools in Australia was taught by a volunteer from a local Christian church.

I can only remember, for sure, that I got RE in year 3. The memory of it sticks out because the boy sitting next to me had hard core atheist parents and was withdrawn from the class, and there were two students with Jehovah’s Witnesses parents who were also withdrawn.

I can’t say for sure about any other year, but I have no recollection of RE at any other time.

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 05:49:06 UTC | #949034

Go to: The first time I spoke out in defense of atheism in public.

Grimace's Avatar Jump to comment 2 by Grimace

I commend you for speaking out DMR88.

A word of warning though, I worked for a Student Guild (union) for a few years while I was at university and a part of my job was doing academic appeals. I'd advise you to beware of the wrath of an academic who believes they've been wronged.

It was my experience that some academics could be extrordinarily petty and malicious towards a person who they believed had wronged them, even if that "wrong" was petty or minor.

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 00:43:53 UTC | #945375

Go to: Military Proselytizing by the Gideons – and how we stopped it.

Grimace's Avatar Jump to comment 20 by Grimace

I stay in hotels a lot for work, mostly within Australia, and I've never noticed a bible in the room.

I will now endevour to look for a bible, and if I find one, I'll throw it out.

On a slightly silly note and depending on my mood, if I were to find a bible in my hotel room, I've throught of ringing reception to complain about not having a torah, a set of vedas or a quran (whatever takes my fancy at the time), and putting on mock offence at not being able to have a copy of such.

Another optin is to request a copy of On the Origin of Species, The Greatest Show on Earth or A Brief History of Time for my "moral and spiritual enlightenment". Again depending on my mood.

Mostly, by the time I'm back in my hotel room I'm too tired to be bothered with the shenanigans that would be involved in the last two paragraphs.

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 00:44:32 UTC | #945236

Go to: Catholic School?

Grimace's Avatar Jump to comment 4 by Grimace

I'm an Australian and in the same position as Housey1228.

There are a number of state and private schools in my area for which my (potential future) children, and the National Assessment Program - Literacy and Numeracy (NAPLAN) tests for the private schools are an order of magnitude better than the state schools in the area, without exception.

My wife & I have had this discussion several times and the argument is fought and lost from my point of view. The difference in NAPLAN results between even the best state school and the worst private school in the area are just too great to justify sending our potential children to even the best of the state schools (money is not an issue).

On this matter my position has firmed. As a parent you have to do what is, on balance, best for the future of your children. I’ll have no problem mitigating the religious indoctrination at the schools, who to be honest maintain a very liberal approach to religion (I did a lot of research to try and counter the arguments of my wife), but it will be much harder to mitigate the impact of poor teaching in literacy and numeracy over a number of years.

Mon, 07 May 2012 21:37:12 UTC | #940426

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