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Are You There God? It's Me, Madison Avenue.How to make an ad for a church. - Comments

cam9976's Avatar Comment 1 by cam9976

Scientology: the muslims are offering me virgins and the Christians promised me eternal life. So if you can't come up with something better than "knowing myself" then I'll have to go god shopping somewhere else.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:05:00 UTC | #376476

kram50's Avatar Comment 2 by kram50

Well, didn't work for me!

They're gonna have to try harder than that!

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:08:00 UTC | #376478

Frankus1122's Avatar Comment 3 by Frankus1122

This is a good show:

The Age of Persuasion

This episode is all about selling god. It seems to have been sparked by the Atheist Bus Campaign.
There is an ad for one church that almost made me want to attend.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:24:00 UTC | #376485

Elli's Avatar Comment 4 by Elli

"know yourself"

isn't that bible-speak for masturbation?

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:36:00 UTC | #376488

Quetzalcoatl's Avatar Comment 5 by Quetzalcoatl


It is. Kind of puts a different spin on Scientology, doesn't it?

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:46:00 UTC | #376490

icanus's Avatar Comment 6 by icanus

"You are not your job, you are not the clothes you wear"

wait a minute, I know how this ends:

"You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."

I am Jack's complete lack of originality.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:50:00 UTC | #376492

Red Devil's Avatar Comment 7 by Red Devil

Religions... Prove it first.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:53:00 UTC | #376493

Bob Russell's Avatar Comment 8 by Bob Russell

Nanu Nanu....beam me up Scotty...there's no intelligent life anywhere ...

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:54:00 UTC | #376494

critica's Avatar Comment 9 by critica

God needs a better agent. Michael Jackson's should do...

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:05:00 UTC | #376497

Tyler Durden's Avatar Comment 10 by Tyler Durden

Comment #393842 by icanus

Nooooooooooooo, you stole my thunder :)

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."

"Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else."

"Scientology. Know yourself. Know life." - know when you're being ripped off and brainwashed into a dangerous cult. Get out, now!

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:06:00 UTC | #376499

Frankus1122's Avatar Comment 11 by Frankus1122

Comment #393849 by Tyler Durden

I was thinking of you when I saw icanus' comment but I didn't want to comment. You see, I know the first rule. ;)

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:13:00 UTC | #376502

j.mills's Avatar Comment 12 by j.mills

Nothing else matters, but this advert has to stop. In the Name of Jesus. I don't know the reason for putting this advert up. It says 'Do not believe in God.' How are we going to make it? Look at our schools, everyday. Everyday there's something going on. Kids are out here killing each other, kids are here using drugs. Who else are they going to believe in?

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:22:00 UTC | #376505

NewEnglandBob's Avatar Comment 13 by NewEnglandBob

What a stupid advertisement. Every KNOWS that you ARE the car your drive! my dog!

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:37:00 UTC | #376516

Metch's Avatar Comment 14 by Metch

Their website claims that they use 'scientific methodology' to discover the truth about human existence. They say that modern science has failed to answer the age old questions like: Why am I here? Who am I? Where did we all come from? etc.

I believed for a long time that there were no dumb questions, because a teacher in high school claimed it was true, and it made sense to me. Although there REALLY ARE illegitimate questions riddled with false assumptions and premises. Some of these "why" questions do make sense and answers can be sought after, although some of them are simply the product of pattern seeking brains evolved for survival.

Why is there anything at all? Well, perhaps because the unintelligent, unthinking 'god' particle exists in this universe.

Why am I here? Because of Evolution, which is supported by all of the evidence.

Who am I? Get your genome mapped, look at old photo's of yourself, reflect on your life, your interests, your passions, your art, your family, etc.

What is the purpose of the universe? This is just downright stupid! The "purpose" of the universe 13.7 billion years ago was simply to explode and expand, the "purpose" when stars began to form was for stars to form! - and so on and so on, it's all fucking relative~!

So many humans are ignorantly seeking a simple all-encompassing answer to a universe that is so incredibly complex that OBVIOUSLY there won't be a simple easy to understand explanation for EVERYTHING.

Scientology should be illegal.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:37:00 UTC | #376517

critica's Avatar Comment 15 by critica


Scientology should be illegal

No, just stripped of all state and legal protection from the ridicule it deserves. Just like the rest of them. As soon as it's illegal it has a status it doesn't merit.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:52:00 UTC | #376522

astronomer24's Avatar Comment 16 by astronomer24

Haha i suppoe it does. The phase "get to know" in the bible has always made me smirk and cringe in disturbance. This is especially true with the story of the two angles who enter Sodom. The crowd of people wants to "get to know" the angles. However (i forget who) decides it would be better to offer up his daughters instead so the crowd may "get to know" them. Disgusting and amoral. But I guess it is smoother reading than using "rape".

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:59:00 UTC | #376524

Dhamma's Avatar Comment 17 by Dhamma

How odd, they only allow positive comments to appear under their videos... Who'd imagine?

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:30:00 UTC | #376529

Duff's Avatar Comment 18 by Duff

Tom Cruise and that other Hollywood entity are enough all by themselves to disabuse anyone from going in the direction of the Scientology scam. Oh, jebus, spare us from Hollywood!

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:38:00 UTC | #376532

Hellene's Avatar Comment 19 by Hellene

The best "Ad" ever;

Shave your Balls for Jesus

Edit: fixed link (thanx j.mills)

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:16:00 UTC | #376542

j.mills's Avatar Comment 20 by j.mills

Yer link doesn't work, Hellene. Unless that's some kinda cunning post-modern prank you're playing...

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:28:00 UTC | #376545

J.Robert's Avatar Comment 21 by J.Robert

The ancient Greeks said "Know Thyself" many years before Mr. Hubbard wrote his book.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:18:00 UTC | #376588

artisfact's Avatar Comment 22 by artisfact

What with all the meaningful I come lord Zenu.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:23:00 UTC | #376591

The Truth, the light's Avatar Comment 23 by The Truth, the light

YOU have the power to hand over all your money to us in return for being brainwashed.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:45:00 UTC | #376598

Carl Sai Baba's Avatar Comment 24 by Carl Sai Baba


Know yourself.
Know life.
Give us all your money.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:29:00 UTC | #376606

Maddawg58's Avatar Comment 25 by Maddawg58

Did anyone see the cross flash at the "t" in scientology. Good touch. Great commercial, we need to hire that dude to make ours. I so wanna join.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:39:00 UTC | #376608

zeerust2000's Avatar Comment 26 by zeerust2000

Are these ads being shown on regular television? I don't recall seeing religious ads on Australian TV, although I think there were a few for the recent Catholic World Youth Day. For me, the slicker an ad like this is, the more I dislike it. All it says to me is "we've got lots of money and we want you to ........(?)" Well, that's the point. Like most religious advertising it is deliberately vague, and invites you to hear what you want to hear.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 22:54:00 UTC | #376624

ev-love's Avatar Comment 27 by ev-love

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:38:00 UTC | #376636

rod-the-farmer's Avatar Comment 28 by rod-the-farmer

You are what you if in communion I eat.....crackers.......then.......

I got better.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:12:00 UTC | #376678

PERSON's Avatar Comment 29 by PERSON

On ads in general "Century of the Self" is good, too. A lot of it is about the creation of individualism-- a mode of thought religion has adapted to better to than rationalism IMO-- and consumerism.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:16:00 UTC | #376680

Masrock's Avatar Comment 30 by Masrock

Did the people in the ad look happy or just smug?

Scientology = Smugness


Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:27:00 UTC | #376690