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Flying rabbis fight swine flu - Comments

Thomas Byrne's Avatar Comment 1 by Thomas Byrne

This is all just too funny.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:45:00 UTC | #387409

God fearing Atheist's Avatar Comment 2 by God fearing Atheist

Good! Well, it is provided an epidemiologist has enough time to do the statistical study in a few years time to show how swine flu progressed in Israel cf. other countries and prove this load of plonkers achieved nothing but wasting aviation fuel.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:47:00 UTC | #387410

TheCRZA's Avatar Comment 3 by TheCRZA

So I guess prayers are subject to the laws of gravity. If you pray from somewhere up high in the sky, the prayer will fall down straight into the souls of those infected.

Can anyone confirm this?

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:48:00 UTC | #387411

Dr. Strangegod's Avatar Comment 4 by Dr. Strangegod

I seriously thought the headline said "flying rabbits". This was funnier.

TheCRZA - No no, see, they were just making sure God could hear them. The atmosphere often gets in the way of prayer, so they got closer and spoke real loud. Kind of like what you do with old folks.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:49:00 UTC | #387413

Thomas Byrne's Avatar Comment 5 by Thomas Byrne

Comment #404898 by TheCRZA

I think its more so the prayer can get caught on the breeze and spread, like cloud, over a larger area.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:50:00 UTC | #387414

Sarmatae1's Avatar Comment 6 by Sarmatae1

Television footage showed rabbis in black hats rocking backwards and forwards as they read prayers from Kabbalah


Don't laugh, they may just have something there. My whole life whenever things get bad I curl up and rock back and forth gibbering senselessly too. It has always worked for me.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:51:00 UTC | #387415

irate_atheist's Avatar Comment 7 by irate_atheist

*Sigh*

It has to be said.

And once again it falls on me to say it.

Although I regret it greatly.

I shall do so, nonetheless.

Fucktards.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:52:00 UTC | #387417

Hideous Dwarf's Avatar Comment 8 by Hideous Dwarf

I find that playing my banjo and singing folk songs keeps people away but would that work on swine flu? Given that you catch it from people I suppose it just might, and if I switch to singing hymns it should work even better.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:54:00 UTC | #387418

Peacebeuponme's Avatar Comment 9 by Peacebeuponme

The flu is often called simply "H1N1" in Israel, as pigs are seen as unclean.
I heard that Israel decided to call it "Mexican Flu", for this reason.

Got me thinking though, are viruses, bacteria etc considered kosher or not? Bit of a problem if the Torah doesn't deal with these isn't it?

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:54:00 UTC | #387419

Sarmatae1's Avatar Comment 11 by Sarmatae1

The bottom photograph on the right there is a black guy with sunglasses on his head. I happen to be privy to what he was thinking at that moment.

"Fuck William Shatner and priceline.com!"

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:57:00 UTC | #387421

mitch_486's Avatar Comment 10 by mitch_486

Ridiculous.

Any HIV/AIDS help planned in the near future? Nope.

H1N1, as it is associated with pigs, clearly, is the larger issue.


Never-mind the useless contribution prayer makes, just look at how pathetic the reasoning for what actually warrants their delusional attention.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:57:00 UTC | #387420

blitz442's Avatar Comment 12 by blitz442

I usually shy away from comparisons of religion to mental illness, but it's hard not to here!

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:57:00 UTC | #387422

petermun's Avatar Comment 13 by petermun

Is this where we get head-bangers from?

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:59:00 UTC | #387423

irate_atheist's Avatar Comment 14 by irate_atheist

Why is the old fool at the back trying to order a pizza delivery at a time like this?

I think we should be told.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:00:00 UTC | #387424

TheCRZA's Avatar Comment 15 by TheCRZA

So I guess prayers are subject to the laws of gravity. If you pray from somewhere up high in the sky, the prayer will fall down straight into the souls of those infected.

Can anyone confirm this?


I think its more so the prayer can get caught on the breeze and spread, like cloud, over a larger area.


You're right. That makes much more sense than my stupid explanation. How idiotic of me to think of prayers as some sort of heavy, invisible, magical substance, when really they're more like a misty, invisible, magical substance. What the hell was I thinking?

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:01:00 UTC | #387425

blitz442's Avatar Comment 16 by blitz442

11. Comment #404909 by Sarmatae1

Very funny comment

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:02:00 UTC | #387426

mitch_486's Avatar Comment 17 by mitch_486

A quick headline check yields the following result with slight commentary:

"British scientists crack swine flu code as world tally rises to 2,384"

- Well done, lads

"Scientists urge review of UK swine flu pandemic policy"

- Wise decision

"Flying rabbis fight swine flu"

- Un-fucking believable

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:06:00 UTC | #387428

Dhamma's Avatar Comment 18 by Dhamma

This is one mad fucking world!

I can't believe I share so much DNA with these nutters.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:07:00 UTC | #387430

wice's Avatar Comment 19 by wice

am i the only one, who -- reading the term "flying rabbis" -- instantly thought about "the jumping jews of jerusalem" from black adder?

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:11:00 UTC | #387431

Jos Gibbons's Avatar Comment 20 by Jos Gibbons

"We are certain that, thanks to the prayer, the danger is already behind us" - wait. Certain? It takes phenomenal arrogance to be certain you know what it takes to win the co-operation of the creator of the universe. Even if they had some evidence I'd be concerned about certainty. Why is it that religious people are invariably as certain as they are clueless? Where are all the 3s on the Dawkins scale? They always seem to be 1s, or 2s at a stretch.

But what really took the biscuit here was that horn. Am I the only one who thinks a horn is only worth blowing at great altitude if the sound is able to travel? But then, there is no airborne equivalent of a sunroof car.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:17:00 UTC | #387433

b0ltzm0n's Avatar Comment 21 by b0ltzm0n

Gotta love The Onion!!! ... ... wait, this is real?

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:19:00 UTC | #387434

Colwyn Abernathy's Avatar Comment 22 by Colwyn Abernathy

:GASP:

Rabbi Boteach? Is that you?

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:20:00 UTC | #387435

hadr0n's Avatar Comment 23 by hadr0n

I would hate to be an attendant on that flight!

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:23:00 UTC | #387436

Delsolar16's Avatar Comment 24 by Delsolar16

20. Comment #404921 by Jos Gibbons

They always seem to be 1's and 2's because those are the only people acting so outlandishly crazy as to earn themselves a spot atop RD.net's "Latest News" column.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:26:00 UTC | #387437

Prankster's Avatar Comment 25 by Prankster

Sigh....

Prayers being said to be spread on the breeze? And just like radioactive fallout, as equally poisonous...

I noticed from the main article the rabbis were reciting from that kooky offshoot of Judaism called Kabbalah and not regular jewish prayers (if there are any for curing swine flu) were being recited.

I marvel at this world sometimes. There's some serious pockets of humanity out there, and they are best avoided at all costs. Especially wankers like these. Idiots.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:29:00 UTC | #387438

Prankster's Avatar Comment 26 by Prankster

Mind you watching it again, I have to say the safety demonstrations and In-flight entertainment on Israeli airlines are fucking rubbish aren't they?

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:38:00 UTC | #387439

Tyler Durden's Avatar Comment 27 by Tyler Durden

This one is easy to debunk:

Simply take one rabbi (or Jewish mystic) from that flight. Place him in a sealed, "clean" room. Tell him he can pray as much as he wants but in 60 seconds you will release a strain of H1N1 into the air filter, filling the room with "swine" flu.

Does he:

(A) Stay in the room praying (and playing the horn).
(B) Ask to be released from the sealed room for fear of being infected.

I know where my money is :)

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:48:00 UTC | #387441

SoManyStars's Avatar Comment 28 by SoManyStars

Shofar so good? (groan)

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:49:00 UTC | #387442

Prankster's Avatar Comment 29 by Prankster

SoManyStars

rimshot, cymbal thank you!

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 16:03:00 UTC | #387444

Fujikoma's Avatar Comment 30 by Fujikoma

And to think that I had to open a film canister to prove there was really film in it before I was allowed to board and some wack-a-loon gets to carry a large metal horn on a plane. I thought Isreali security was better than we have in the States. I would never have thought to carry a large horn with me, since the only purpose for it is to make a loud noise in an enclosed area from which one can't just walk away from.
The Shatner comment had me laughing (which got me busted for reading this at work... thank you very much).

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 16:04:00 UTC | #387445